Gay and Bisexual Men Really Do Have a Strange Culture

Amusing myself as I often do, browsing Craigslist, I was really struck with how bizarre male hook up culture is.  I’ve spent several years reading the ads, and so many of them are the same, or fit into a neat category, but when you look at them objectively, they are flat out weird.  Looking at them recently I have to laugh at how many of them feature cock pictures.  Don’t get me wrong, I love cock, but looking at a picture of a disembodied cock when you’re trying to decide to hook up with someone isn’t terribly useful…unless they have a remarkable dick.  Sooooo many ads just have a picture of a dick.  I’m pretty sure that if you’re a man posting under “M4M” that you are in fact a man, and therefore you have a penis.  I don’t think anyone doubts that.  Maybe its good because it shows that you are eager, and that you don’t have nasty skin things happening down there, but other than that it isn’t a useful practice.

The new thing of late is that everyone wants a “pic in first response or get lost.”  I never send a pic in the first response.  What if I know the guy?  Or more likely what if the guy just wants to jerk off and I go to the effort of sending him a picture only to never hear back?  I suppose, given the culture, that I could just send him a picture of my dick and that would be fine!  I’m choosey (to a degree) about who I sleep with, or interact with sexually.  While a picture might be nice, I actually find it to be a turn off to exchange pictures first thing.  Maybe it’s because I’m insecure about my looks, but I’d rather know that I was in connection with a guy’s mind rather than if he looks ok…and let’s face it, the bi guys and the closeted gay guys really aren’t into looking at other men.  I’m sure gay men do, but of all the bi, or “curious” guys I’ve been with, none of them really cared what I looked like, other than that I wasn’t a serial killer or a homeless bum.

Then in ads men are always looking for “monster cocks” or BBC (big black cock if you’re not in the know).  I’ve seen a lot of cocks, and few qualify as “monster.”  Men are so wonderfully delusional that they imagine there are armies of these giant dongs running around, and that they are looking to “destroy” or even better “breed” your “tight” ass…no one ever advertises a loose ass…they’re always tight.  The area I live in is very white, and just like the giant cocks, I don’t think there are that many BBCs running around that want to have gay sex with you.  I’m sure there are some, but there must a line a mile long for them.  Take a number.

Of course there are the ads that appear as if they are written by a preschooler based on sentence construction and grammar.  Did these guys go to school?  Do periods cost extra to use?  How about capitalization?  And for a chuckle, the worse they write the more likely they are to be demanding about what they want and get belligerent when you don’t want to meet them.

And then you get the responses…I won’t go into detail on those because that could go on forever, but my favorite are the one liners.  You send them a detailed and well written email, and in reply you get something like: “Hey 7″ cut here wanna fuck? Hit me up”  More romantic words were never written…sigh

It is worth noting that most of the men who post in the M4M category are “bottoms” looking to suck and get fucked.  Where are all the tops?  Are they just getting sex whenever they want and only the bottoms need to advertise?  Or is it that bi and closeted guys are more likely to be submissives or bottoms?  There’s a lot of psychology there to be interpreted.

Now I’ve gotten that out there, it’s time to go cruise some more ads and get more laughs…

Boring Myself

Maybe it’s coming down from a lot of adventure, maybe it’s the season, or maybe its just me.  I’ve been boring myself this week, and it is a pain in the ass.  Two weeks ago I had a great vacation.  I ran, and finished my first half marathon, I had 4 days all to myself, had some exciting sex, and then had a family trip.  That was great, and I felt awesome.  Last week I was sick all week, which is really weird for me, and I merely just made it through the week.  This week I’m back to health, but my head is now the part that is under the weather.  

Sometimes I love my life, and other times I feel really trapped by it.  Trapped by the schedule, trapped by having kids, and trapped by my marriage.  And also trapped by living a part of my life in secret.  When I feel trapped, it can be an ugly and dark place.  This time it isn’t too ugly or dark, just dull and blah, really, really blah.

I’m sure it will pass, but this is my blog, so I get to blather about it…isn’t the internet a lovely place?

General Meh

Alright, for those of you who read this blog for the sexy bits, you’ll be disappointed by this entry…very little of sexy here this time.  I don’t know if that’s because I’ve been blue, or if I’ve been blue due to the lack of sex?  Hmmmmm??

Anyway, it’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to, right?  I’ve been in something of a funk the last few days.  I should be quite ecstatic because it is the beginning of my summer vacation and all, which usually makes me quite happy.  This year I find myself quite blah.  My job, for reasons that have nothing to do with me, is in question, meaning will I have one, that’s problem #1.  There is a great deal of uncertainty in my life in general right now, and virtually none of it is in my control, or anything to do with me directly, but it all impacts me.  I like change and I like variety, but too much of it all at one time is rather unsettling, especially when you have no control over it.

Control is something that I feel has been quite lacking for me of late, and it has gotten tiresome.  I am usually a go with the flow kind of guy, but not so much lately.

On top of this general malaise are Jenn and Amy.  There is no real problem with either, but both have been a bit of a challenge lately for me.  Amy is dear, sweet and wonderful.  But lately she has become more covetous of my time, and really wants to be with me, which is great, but I am really craving/needing some time along to set my head straight.  Jenn on the other hand, I have more than enough time with, and she has been sick and grouchy for the last two weeks.  She is somewhat emotionally cold anyway, and when she’s sick it’s amplified.  Our sex life, which is slow at best anyway has virtually ground to a halt.  She’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey, but that hasn’t sparked her interest enough to want to have sex. Sigh.  She’s not really into the whole BDSM thing either, which is a double sigh, because that would be fun for me if she was.

So ultimately I feel really blah about my life, trapped by my circumstances, and a slave to my life.  My life is, ultimately a pleasant one, but it isn’t making me happy at this point.  I was blue enough this morning to think about dying.  I’m not suicidal in the least, but the thought this morning of ending things, or at the very least going to bed for a very loooooooong time was kind of appealing.