The Difference Between a Wife and a Mistress

So dear readers, you know I am married and have a girlfriend.  Well, this week has reconfirmed the difference between the two, in a variety of ways.  Jenn, my wife, has been kind of distant lately.  She likes to talk, and doesn’t like to listen (to me at least).  She wants tenderness, affection and love, but isn’t really willing to provide much of it, and she doesn’t take that much interest in things that I am interested in that she isn’t.  We’re still together because we have two adorable little children, and because I don’t have the heart to break hers.

My girlfriend Amy by contrast consistently gives me all those things that Jenn doesn’t or can’t.  She is warm, affactionate, supportive and takes an avid interest in me and anything that I’m doing, but at the same time is willing to give me space when I want it, with no questions asked (yes, she knows all about Jenn).

This week, on Tuesday Amy gave me a special treat that only confirmed how fun Amy is.  It was our first day off for the summer, and she had told me to come over to her place, and let myself in.  I knew we’d have a sexy time, but when I got into her place she had laid out a sex scavanger hunt in her apartment, with all sorts of sex toys from our “sex bag” all across the place.  Once I’d gathered all the toys, I opened her door and there she was splayed out on the bed, hair in pig tails, in my favorite silk leopard print teddy, with a brand new leather and fur flogger in her hands.  We proceeded to make love for well over an hour, including her tying me up and teasing and “torturing” me which I absolutely delighted in.  It would have lasted a lot longer except that I couldn’t hold back from cumming any longer.  What a delightful morning!

That night at home with Jenn, we had sex.  In contrast to my time with Amy, it was dull, going through the motions type sex.  I please her, I warm her up, I fuck her, and that’s it…no sense of her trying to pleasure me, no trying to make it exciting, and no real intimacy from my perspective…sigh. And that for me, is some of the difference between a wife and a mistress.

General Meh

Alright, for those of you who read this blog for the sexy bits, you’ll be disappointed by this entry…very little of sexy here this time.  I don’t know if that’s because I’ve been blue, or if I’ve been blue due to the lack of sex?  Hmmmmm??

Anyway, it’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to, right?  I’ve been in something of a funk the last few days.  I should be quite ecstatic because it is the beginning of my summer vacation and all, which usually makes me quite happy.  This year I find myself quite blah.  My job, for reasons that have nothing to do with me, is in question, meaning will I have one, that’s problem #1.  There is a great deal of uncertainty in my life in general right now, and virtually none of it is in my control, or anything to do with me directly, but it all impacts me.  I like change and I like variety, but too much of it all at one time is rather unsettling, especially when you have no control over it.

Control is something that I feel has been quite lacking for me of late, and it has gotten tiresome.  I am usually a go with the flow kind of guy, but not so much lately.

On top of this general malaise are Jenn and Amy.  There is no real problem with either, but both have been a bit of a challenge lately for me.  Amy is dear, sweet and wonderful.  But lately she has become more covetous of my time, and really wants to be with me, which is great, but I am really craving/needing some time along to set my head straight.  Jenn on the other hand, I have more than enough time with, and she has been sick and grouchy for the last two weeks.  She is somewhat emotionally cold anyway, and when she’s sick it’s amplified.  Our sex life, which is slow at best anyway has virtually ground to a halt.  She’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey, but that hasn’t sparked her interest enough to want to have sex. Sigh.  She’s not really into the whole BDSM thing either, which is a double sigh, because that would be fun for me if she was.

So ultimately I feel really blah about my life, trapped by my circumstances, and a slave to my life.  My life is, ultimately a pleasant one, but it isn’t making me happy at this point.  I was blue enough this morning to think about dying.  I’m not suicidal in the least, but the thought this morning of ending things, or at the very least going to bed for a very loooooooong time was kind of appealing.